Lets do something we’ve not done for a while: let’s get drunk whilst listening to classical music. Today is a perfect day for it as, in 1810, on this very day, Beethoven composed Für Elise. The problem though is that the whole piece is only about three minutes long – even Mrs Drink Wine Today struggles to finish a bottle of wine this quickly.
But have no fear – here comes the internet to save the day. Or more specifically here comes YouTube where someone – probably a proper classical music buff who knows loads about Beethoven and pianos – has uploaded a “rare” 60 minute version much more suited for getting pissed to. You can listen to it HERE – uncorking the bottle on the very first delicate note and swallowing the last sip as the final one tapers away. (I’m sure this was Beethoven’s actual idea anyway. Be sure to play it super loud and pretend to conduct an orchestra just for the sheer fun of it all. Use a knitting needle or a big spoon as your baton. )
The aforementioned YouTube buff advises: “Enjoy and relax while listening to this really long and calming version of Für Elise by Beethoven, which can be used for various occasions like romantic date at home, relaxing and stress relief, doing homework and even for a musical ambience for guests and even other useful things as well.” I’m assuming that the “even other useful things” means getting madly drunk and foolishly pretending that we are conductors so, it would seem, that we’re on safe ground.
People often think that Shakespeare is just some writer from long ago with nothing relevant to say to the modern man. But what these people forget is that – not only was he the greatest writer ever -he also knew a bit about wine. And about how, somehow, this magical liquid is the home to truth and that folk who don’t drink it are generally boring fuckwits who you’d not actually want to spend an evening with anyway.
And as today is (allegedly) Talk Like Shakespeare Day, it’s a good excuse to get drunk at work whilst claiming you’re just celebrating the genius of Shakespeare. Here’s 4 quotes to shout loudly should anyone in authority approach you. (One for each bottle.)
“Come, thou monarch of the vine, Plumpy Bacchus with pink eye.”
“Come, come, good wine is a good familiar creature if it be well used; exclaim no more against it.” (My particular favourite in disciplinary meetings at work about on the job drinking.)
“A man cannot make him laugh – but that’s no marvel; he drinks no wine.” My particular favourite to explain to colleagues why my boss didn’t accept the above quote as a reasonable defence.
“The wine-cup is the little silver well,
Where truth, if truth there be, doth dwell.”
Someone said recently in an interview that their father had always told them that the very best part of being English was that you were the same nationality as Shakespeare. On days like today, let’s make the most of it.
(If you’re not English then wine works just as well for drowning your sorrows.)
It’s Freedom of Information Day today so let me tell my readership of three some facts that the spooks at the NSA and MI5 already know. I like wine. I fucking love it. Mainly red, sometimes fizzy, rarely white.
And French the best because it’s got a certain character and kudos that Chile and California just can’t match. And I like to walk home – slightly drunk under the moonlight carrying just a single bottle of wine and a baguette whilst thinking, ever so slightly of the Japanese haiku poet Basho.
And I don’t like authority, have little time for religion and think that science – on the whole – is the way to go.
So let’s drink something. Life is short and, when you’re dead, that’s it so make the most of it.
Wine is a drink of the moment. Something to stop time. To enjoy right here, right now so on this site there is no archive, no future events. There is just one post everyday; one single solitary reason to grab a corkscrew, a glass and a drink. And after 24 hours it disappears and gets replaced by another. Simple.
(Except when I leave one there because one of my readership of 4 has left a comment and I reply to it and it needs to stay there etc etc. It’s my site after all so I can do what I like.)
(But, like great wine – something similar come back round again eventually ….)