1 August: always be prepared to get stupidly drunk.

There are some strange international days out there if you’re bored – or drunk – enough to look for them. Today is World Scout Scarf day for instance.

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(This site now has a theme tune. It’s HERE. Click it and read. It adds a majesty to the crap I write.)

 

Now, of course in strictly academic theory in theory this has nothing whatsoever to do with our chosen specialist subject of drinking wine everyday and convincing the world we’re doing it for cultural / intellectual reasons.

But, hey, wait a minute! Isn’t the scout motto to “Always Be Prepared.”

It sure is and – therefore – that means by a perfect journey of logic that, whoever that first ever genius was who fermented grape juice, was the world’s first scout. Because suddenly – whilst the rest of the cave dwellers sat around the fire bitching about the head hunter or sharpening an ever increasing pile of arrow heads for an ever dwindling amount of praise – that genius suddenly had a way out; they had a liquid that wiped out the day just gone and turned them into a super charged machine for the next day. That liquid, we now know, was wine.

And, ever since, our tribe has continued the tradition of preparedness. Isn’t that the reason you bought the car with the big trunk to put in all those fantastic offers on cases of wine? The reason you have a coat with massive inside pockets to carry bottles of wine home? The reason your keys are attached to a corkscrew? Isn’t that the reason you subtly pour white wine into your soda bottle everyday just before you go to work? The reason you look at this site so you’ve got you’re reason sorted when the wankers ask why you’re drunk again?

Of course it is! We – the wine drinkers of the world – are always prepared. These people – setting fires and hitching tents – are our people. In a few years they’ll be just like us and today we have a duty to celebrate and to be a role model. (More so that Mr Trump was with his rather bizarre ‘Drain The Cesspit” motivational speech earlier on this week.)

So let’s chuck on a scarf and get drunk.

Also I bet Baden Powell could knock a few back when he needed to.

(Wine, it’s connected to everything if you think hard enough.)

A quote: “One should write not unskillfully in the running hand, be able to sing in a pleasing voice, and keep good time to music; and, lastly, a man should not refuse a little wine when it is pressed upon him.” — Yoshida Kenko, Essays in Idleness, c. 1340

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