The Fascists were twats but, today in 1929, they did have a positive idea: they banned certain (foreign) words in Italy.
Now the God Bacchus is certainly no supporter of Fascists: we believe that the world should be a huge brotherhood of wine drinkers sitting peacefully around a perpetually flowing fountain of alcoholic liquid, pleasantly getting drunk, sorting out their disagreements by just getting a bit drunker and a bit more tolerant.
But because we’re quite fluid in the things we use as excuses to open up a nightly bottle of wine we’ve decided to really piss the fascists off and celebrate something of theirs – despite being Guardian reading liberals who just want to give everybody a hug! So we’re going to celebrate their bonkers “word banning strategy” and speculate on what words it would be good to vanish forever. (The range of wine pictured is, it appears, actually real though.)
Certain words – evil, black words of division and filth immediatelt spring to mind: how about ‘lager’, ‘beer’, ‘alcopop’, ‘alcohol-free’. ‘teetotal killjoy’ or even the dreaded ‘water.’ If these heinous words were made illegal we could get on with the important business of filling the alcohol aisles with the only beverage that actually carries any weight.
So drink some. Today. Right now and celebrate the tiny seedling of a good idea that the fascists had. Embrace it fully and ban the use of all the above imposters in your presence whilst you kick back with the king of drinks. Wear a black shirt and invent some silly hand signal to show everyone you’re ‘right, proper hard.’
A quote: “Wine is the most healthful and most hygienic of beverages.” Louis Pasteur.
And, an additional photo about words and not using them: